Sunday, 28 October 2012

a self pitying rant and moan...

Having posted a couple of weeks ago about feeling low, things haven't really improved. On the surface and to all and sundry, I'm my ususal chirpy self. How can I not be, when the families I work with are so low? They don't need a gloomy face whey they feel gloomy enough as it is. I suppose I'm very tired, not having had a proper break since, well since? Can't actually remember when I've had some decent time to myself. Now if any of my family or indeed my lovely man was to read this they would be surprised and probably annoyed. I had a week away in the sun in August didn't I? I have almost every second weekend to myself don't I? Well yes. But, but and but again....I am at the beck and call of my family and lovely man. I didn't want to go on holiday that particular week, and felt really pressured to go. I wanted a week at home to sort out all the crap and jobs that need doing. Instead I spent a week, panicing inside about work, home and all the otehr crap in my head. I had hoped for lots of lovely food and intimacy, but.....that's another post. I came home to all the shite I'd left a week before. I'm working again this half term. Running the holdiay activities I do for all those families who are at the end of their rope with their kids, many of whom are on Child Protection. My lovely man is away seeing his dad for a few days. Before he left, he gave me a list of things to do for him. He rang on Friday, to say how much he loved and missed me? No..to check I'd done as he'd asked....hmmmm. Am I a pushover? Doormat? Re-reading the above I think I am...and to add to the mix, my ex hub has been diagnoised with a degenerative condition. Terrible for him, and being completely sefish, for me too as I can now see yet another person needing my support and I'll be doing even more ferrying around. Pffft.

1 comment:

auntiegwen said...

Aw jeez I identified with just about every word of that. No words of wisdom but will pass the gin for you. As for your ex hub, it's worth checking if there is any charity that will supposrt, I work for a neurological charity and we have trained 1 to 1 support workers that people find a real godsend, worth enquiring if any exist for his disorder. Much love xxxxx