AAAAAAAAAAGH!

1. People NOT SIGNALLING AT ROUNDABOUTS!!!!
2. Unmade beds...even if the person says they are letting it air...hmm...
3. People who leave dirty dishes in a basin in the sink and then let it fill with dirty water!!!!
4. Crumbs from the toaster on the worksurface...
5. Spitting in the street!
6. Eating in the street!!!!
7. Children who have to have a drink every 5 minutes when out and about, God forbid they might get de-hydrated!!!
8. People who eat smelly food in a public place LIKE THE BUS and then LEAVE THE WRAPPINGS ON THE SEAT WHEN THEY GET OFF SAID BUS!!!!!!!!!!
9. Reliant Robin drivers who think driving at 20 MPH in rush hour is acceptable.....
10. People who don't rinse the bath after using it.....


You might have guessed that I've had a particularly trying week.

AND I'VE NOW JUST REALISED IT'S RUGBY AT TWICKERS SO ....
11. Fekkin rugger buggers who clog up the roads with their 4x4's and STOP ME GOING ABOUT MY LAWFUL BUSINESS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SATURDAY!!!!!
12. Women of a certain age, who should know better, wearing rugby shirts. Purleese!!

Why women blog....

I read India Knight's article in the Sunday times with interest. I consider myself a 'mummy blogger', but whoa, after reading Ms Knight's piece, I feel distinctly unglam and pretty boring!!
I tend to blog randomly about stuff in general that either bugs me or makes me laugh. I've no set pattern or timetable. I also blog in secret.....I'd be mortified if anyone I knew actually read the blog!

I've just registered with this ad thing - you can see them popping up on the blog page. I was curious to see if I could actually earn any money to add to the very empty pot that is my bank account...in fact I'm overdrawn in every account I have AND I owe £600 to the OU. Yikes! Aren't some of the ads pretty mad! Let's see how much rubbish, tat and general bonkersness I'm asked to advertise!!

So the blog really reflects the kind of person I am....random, no planning or structure and failing to make any decent money!!

God spare me from the evil that is smugness....

I'm very cross. So cross in fact I need to vent to you all. I'm usually a calm and contained person, slow to anger, except in the car and there, to be honest, all decorum flies out the window. To my shame I've even give some poor woman the finger (yes I know! Im bloody 44!!) when she had the temerity to pull out in front of me a tad slowly....

Any hoo. Back to why I'm so cross. Me and my lovely man went to dinner at a friend of his on Saturday night. We had agreed that I'd drive home so wouldn't drink. All fine so far. I'd met this couple only the once before and they seemed ok. Just like us in fact. Hmmmm. Well on Saturday night I realised how bloody tedious people are when drunk and you are very sober. Now my lovely man has a rather , erm, checkered romantic history shall I say. He has 2 ex partners and 3 kids by said partners. One ex is fairly ok, but the other is a bloody psycho. Our hosts on Saturday night have met both ex's, and now me. So far so ...ok...

As they got more sloshed, the questions and remarks about my lovely man's personal life became more pointed and intrusive. He was getting just as sloshed so answered the questions as they came...I think he felt a bit overwhelmed and his guilt about his kids etc always surfaces when he's had a few... Now, me being sober,tried to change the subject a number of times...to no avail. The wife even went so far as asking my lovely man if he had realised how much he had fucked up his life - charming and so subtle!!

So. result? One pissed man, one very sober pissed off woman and two bloody nosey hosts who had their curiosity well and truly sated. The cherry on the cake of that evening was them asking when the big day was for us and should the wife buy a hat any time soon!! I nearly fekkin said 'buy one and I'll shove it sunshine,' but I didn't. They wouldn't have remembered anyway next morning.

So, what I'm really cross about is why some people are so nosey and so keen to pass judgement and tell you what THEY think about how you live your life. I suppose this couple, who've been married 25 years are what good old Bridget Jones would've called Smug Married. They mugged my lovely man at the dinnertable and he foolishly, gave in to them. I'm no saint, but I would NEVER probe so deeply or personally just to get a vicarious thrill out of anothers 'misfortune'...hmmmm.

So, I'll be giving this couple a very wide bearth in future. Divorce, death,poor health I can cope with. Smugness and crass insensitivity...ugh, God spare me that.

12 random things

1. I am 44 and a size 8-10.
2. My hair is dyed, but naturally curly...I have never had a perm...unlike my poker-haired sisters.
3. My ex husband divorced me for unreasonable behaviour....I thought he was a BASTARD at the time, but, he was probably right in retrospect. I was a terrible wife.
4. Sex is a zillion times better in your 40s. Especially with a man who is not your husband (or any one elses in case you were wondering...)
5. Red wine IS a vitamin.
6. I should've married for money, not love.
7. I just want to stay at home and be a full time mummy and have a clean and tidy home.
8. I am terrible with money, hence cannot afford to be 7 above.
9. However, if I had done 6, then I probably could've been a 7..
10. I am the tallest female in my family and I'm 5'4".
11.I love lists.
12. The keeping of guinea pigs and 3 legged cats should be a criminal offence.

Romance?

Lying in bed this morning with my lovely man, I asked him to say something romantic and nice about me that he liked. "You don't have a fat arse", was his considered reply. Now, I know I don't have a fat bottom, being 5 foot 4 and 8 and a half stone....so I asked him again. He looked at me as if I was mad - " Wasn't that nice enough?". Not really, I said. "What about something a bit more, erm, positive?" Like what? Well, like you have lovely bum. "That's what I said " he replied now sounding exasperated. Hmm. I decided to leave this topic as it would eventually lead to me in a big moody snit and him even more exasperated and cross. Lesson learned? Don't ask for an ego boost from a man who thinks saying you don't have a fat arse is being romantic.

Regrets, I've had a few.....

As you might have gleaned reading past blog posts, I have a reasonably good relationship with ex-hub. We separated in 2002 after 12 years and 2 kids together....so lots of history and shared memories. Our realtionship,post divorce, improved once we realised that we loved our kids more than we hated each other...

On Fathers day, we all went out to the local curry house for a very civilised meal. It was lovely. He paid and the kids behaved themselves. I was surprised when he suggested going out, as he usually avoids any kind of 'family' time with me. I don't think he has ever gotten over the fact that he no longer lives with his children. It makes me sad and I sometimes think about what would've happened if we both had tried harder and been kinder to each other. Don't get me wrong, I am much happier now that I was before, but I'm not sure the kids really are and if ex-hub really is either. I suppose that makes me very selfish, and I would change things if I could. However, I no longer love him and I am truly in love with my lovely boyfriend. Ex hub is very much in love with his girlfriend, who is lovely and is very good for him. So it's not about me and him, but about our kids and the impact divorce and separation has on them, and the absent parent. Me and ex-hub have managed to re-build our emotional life, but I'm not sure that our kids ever will.



I look at the likes of Katie and Peter, and how their realtionship meltdown is being played out in the very unforgiving glare of the tabloid press. We all do things we regret during a divorce - mostly in private and between the 2 people involved usually. I am so glad that my kids will never see the horrible texts and e mails or hear the shitty phone messages we left for each other as our marriage imploded. All those kids have to do is google 'Jordan divorce' and there it is for them to see - their parents at their worst.


I come from a culture that believed that marriage was for life, however terrible it was. Marital infidelity was rife, but swept under the carpet. Divorce was taboo. Maybe it was my was of rebelling against that culture that made me go for the divorce? Who knows. All I do know is that we get one life and we must make the most of it. Life truly is too short to hold a grudge or hate an ex-partner.

Teenagers, shopping,heroic self control and ex-hubs family

Another weekend spent hacking away at the coalface that is family life. A simple shopping trip turned into the usual nightmare. We started out civil enough. Got the bus ok (sort of..see below...), got off the bus ok, had lunch ok....and then PRIMARK. Stuff everywhere. People, mostly large with stupid hats or hair or earrings, everywhere. Stupid people with buggies, in which nestled toddlers eating chips/crisps/sausage rolls. Added to this, my 15 year old in a major strop, because I wouldn't spend £25 on 6 inches of parachute silk, masquerading as a skirt, in Topshop. May God forgive you Kate Moss.

I thought that having suggested a day out shopping, my daughter would at least take the teenage sneer off her face long enough to say, 'ooh yes mummy, that would be lovely!!' Instead, I got a grunt and then an hour long, low level whinge about how crap her life is having a mother who wants to go shopping on public transport. ' I mean, dur!! How gay are you mum!! The BUS! I'm not a CHAV you know!!' Instead of smacking that sneer off her face, I took my sainted mother's advice and offered it up to the holy spirit. Heroic self control. She hissed at me, eyes like slits, that her bad mood was because she was about to 'come on' and OMG MUM, I NEARLY DIE OF PAIN EVERY MONTH. IT'S NOT CALLED THE CURSE FOR NOTHING!!SOB.. I was slightly hormonal myself...but hey! Who cares! Not her! She thinks I am far too old for a period and I should just do the decent thing, and have the menopause,' cos mum, you know , it's a bit disgusting you being on at your age' (43..) Deep breaths,large merlot....sit on your hands so you don't WRAP THEM ROUND HER THROAT. Grrrrrrrrrrr..

In the end, we had a reasonable day - we even came back home on the same bus - a major success. The stress involved in raising a teenager really gets me down. I know it is a cliche but I would never have been as rude to my mother as my daughter is to me. Downright rude in fact. Her response to me not allowing her to go to a mixed sleepover was to call me ' A FREAK OF NATURE!!!!!' Her capitals and exclaimation marks. Some days, I really cannot face going home. I am not sure quite what mood she will be in, whether it will be all sweetness and light or a Linda Blair special. Or a mix of the two. 'Your mother sucks prozac in Asda' .....hmmm.

The shopping trip was to buy my darling daughter a frock for her Confirmation. Now that whole Confirmation thing requires a posting all to itself - all I'll say at this stage is that we had a party where my ex hubs family came en-masse - think extras in the Sopranos, but not in a good way.... I felt slightly out numbered as it was just me, my sister and lovely boyfriend on my side. Both my ex-hub and lovely boyfriend spent the evening with their stomachs pulled in and chests puffed out. I could almost taste the testosterone. They circled round each other, chatting (!) politely, trying to out 'bloke' each other, both obviously thinking 'wanker' as they chatted through gritted teeth. Hillarious! I surpassed my self in my utter loveliness and chatted merrily away to the WAGs of ex hubs cousins...as they all got sozzled on white wine, while their various offspring caused havoc, and I stayed annoyingly sober, being the deignated driver. Smug, moi?

I love my daughter dearly and I know in my heart that this will pass and my lovely girl will re-appear. However, until that happens, I am battening down those metaphorical hatches and hitting the merlot....pray for me Mother...